Making a long-distance relationship work isn’t easy, but it’s not even impossible! Even if far away, you can learn to share experiences, communicate feelings, make a couple of plans. Here are 10 psychology tips to help you get the most out of your long-distance relationship!
Long-distance relationship: yes or no? Difficult to give a clear answer to this question, because there are many factors that can determine the success or failure of a relationship of this type. Certainly living a long-distance relationship is not easy and it does not take a degree in psychology to say it, but it can work.
Nowadays, thanks to technology, it is easier to have a long-distance relationship and still be able to share your daily life with your partner, even if they are far away. But for it to work, it’s important to be able to manage it in the best way.
Here are 10 psychology tips for you fundamental to be able to guarantee the success of a long-distance story. And, to laugh about it, think that such a story also has its advantages … for example, you will never find yourself in situations like these:
We know that it is not simple and that certainly there will be moments of profound sadness and despair, but the important thing – in a long-distance relationship – is being able to maintain a positive attitude. Your partner will miss you for most of the time, that’s for sure, but you can avoid basking in that excruciating pain or sending him ten vocal messages in which you cry. Certainly such attitudes do not help to lighten the situation and, in the long term, are counterproductive.
Continue as much as possible to live your life and your commitments. In the evening, on the phone or on skype, it will be nice to tell him what happened to you, and for him to do the same with you. Focus on the positive aspects of your distance: how nice will it be to hug him the next time you see yourself? And how good is it to not be accountable to anyone if you’re going to go out alone with your friends tonight? Of course, he misses you and you will miss him, but you must be able to feel good even alone!
2. Take advantage of technology to share everyday life and communicate as much as possible
The number one rule for a long-distance relationship to work is to develop communication. Not being able to see yourself, you will have to try to tighten your emotional bond as much as possible, and you can only do so by communicating as much as possible to feel close to each other.
Communication is essential for couples who live together, let alone those from a distance! You will have to learn to develop the art of conversation and, day after day, it will be easier for you to understand each other and find the right words for each other as if they were virtual caresses. The important thing is to feel yourself with a certain frequency, even for a long time, but in such a way as to be able to really have the perception of “living” there in everyday life.
Fortunately, with today ‘s technologies, everything is simpler and you will not only be able to hear from you whenever you want but also see you, which will help a lot! Take advantage of every means to keep you up to date on your lives, from social media to video calls, and soon you will also focus on which ones are most suitable for you.
You do not need to discuss maximum systems: the small things of every day are enough! Just talking about everyday life, in its most banal aspects, will make you feel closer, increasing that sense of familiarity which, unfortunately, you cannot develop by staying away.
You live in two distant cities, it’s true, but you can’t necessarily share experiences together. Again, technology will come to your aid. You could, for example, watch a movie or a game together at the same time, with the partner framed on the PC on his knees.
You could open a blog together to share your stories, or decide to read the same book simultaneously to be able to comment on it together or cook a new recipe live on Skype. Doing the same experiences at the same time will really help you feel closer and strengthen your bond.
And then, how romantic it is to fall asleep together on the phone or in a video call? An experience to try!
5. For a serene relationship, don’t be afraid to fight, but never for messages!
We come to the painful keys: in a long-distance relationship, it is easy to quarrel. The risk of having to discuss increases with respect to a couple who go in person. But it would be a mistake to try to avoid the quarrels at all costs: always remember that an open and sincere dialogue is fundamental for a long-distance relationship!
So don’t try to keep yourself if something is troubling you. Talk to your partner, but in a calm and calm way, without being aggressive. The right attitude is what will save your relationship.
But above all, never fight over messages: it’s the easiest way to be misunderstood! Try, on the contrary, to discuss via video, to be able to look you in the face or, if this is not possible, do it by word of mouth anyway. Intonation counts very much and your eyes will be able to say things that the written word could never express.
5. See yourself often: it is the psychology that advises him!
It may seem obvious, but it is not at all: to make your relationship work at a distance you will have to try to see as much as you can. Continuously monitor the offers of trains or low-cost flights, so as not to lose them and allow you to reach it as much as possible. Try to alternate as much as you can because the distance does not only weigh economically on one of you.
You can reach each other, or plan a weekend in a third city: it would be a nice way to experience another exciting experience together! It’s all about being able to keep time and budget under control. It is not certain that the occasions happen frequently, but the important thing is don’t miss a single one!
6. Share the same idea of the future
For your long-distance relationship to last, says psychology, it is important that you and your partner experience it the same way, with the same goals and sharing the same idea of the future.
Talk about it in great sincerity as soon as possible: things you want from this story? Do you consider yourself two dating or real boyfriends? And in the future would you like to get closer again? Would you like a cohabitation sooner or later? And a family? Would you be willing to change cities sooner or later, if the relationship becomes serious?
It is certainly not easy to deal with such complex issues, but it’s good to be clear right away. If neither of them ever moves from their city, but both want a cohabitation soon, what’s the point of continuing? There is no right answer to the questions above, the important thing is just to see it the same way!
For a long-distance relationship to work, there must be two fs: loyalty and trust. Trust is also fundamental in relationships that go beyond distance, but in this case, it is even more so: if confidence is lacking and you are far away, your story can become a real nightmare!
Trust is created through sincerity: lying serves no purpose, nor does it hide something. If you are an open book with your partner he will be easier to trust you, and vice versa.
Loyalty is closely linked to trust. If you have decided to get serious at a distance, you will both have to work hard not to betray. Otherwise, why do all this effort? Certainly there may be attitudes or situations that will bother you, they will make you feel jealous: remember that the solution is always the same, dialogue. If you can talk calmly about your fears and doubts, you will always be able to clarify and resolve them. Mutual trust and dialogue will make you unbeatable!
8. Keep the passion alive: here are tips on how to do it in a long-distance relationship
Needless to hide: no matter how hard you can get a long-distance relationship to work, sex will always be missing! We must then try to adapt to the situation. Have you ever tried virtual sex?
If you’ve never done it before, you might feel embarrassed at first, but in the long run, it could end up pleasing you a lot! The Internet helps us from this point of view: we no longer speak only of telephone sex and sexting, but of real virtual sex to do in front of the camera (obviously only with a partner you trust blindly! ).
Be careful, though: everything must happen as spontaneously as possible, without forcing! You could, for example, start by telling him how you are dressed, what linens you wear … or by confiding your desires to him, what you would like to do to him if he was there with you … Keeping the passion at a distance is not only important but also very important, very appetizing!
9. Surprise each other!
Because your long-distance relationship, made up mainly of messages and phone calls, does not become too routine, try to surprise you!
Of course, appearing in your home without having been warned may not always be welcome, especially if you know that the partner is rather busy … There are, however, some middle ground: you could give him some clues about your coming, ask him to be found in a certain place in the evening with an excuse and let you find yourself there … Unleash your imagination, you’ll be sure to please him!
10. Confide with someone to share experiences and advice on long-distance relationships
Finally, let’s look at the truth in the face: there will certainly be difficult moments, in which he will really miss you so much and you will not be able to do anything about it. In those moments it is good to have someone close to you to confide in, who can understand you, maybe some friend or family member who has or has had experiences with long-distance relationships.
The advice or simple understanding of a loved and trusted person, whom you love, will surely help you to feel less alone in these moments of sadness and to overcome them faster!