The holiday season, with all its trimmings and goodwill, can be a very stressful time of the year, especially for women. The schools plays, decorating, cooking, parties, traveling and shopping can all come together for a perfect storm of stress and anxiety. On the other side of all the celebration and family gatherings are the many people who find themselves, for various reasons, alone for the holidays. Watching all the hustle and bustle, missing family and friends – all the while forcing yourself to be happy when you’re not, can trigger feelings of loneliness and depression.

By taking a few steps now to reduce stress, plan ahead and focus on the best aspects of the season, you can make the holidays a more balanced and joyful season for both you and your family.

1. Celebrate On Your Own Terms
Take a step back and think about what the holidays really mean to you.  Take time to examine your normal holiday activities. Are you doing things because they’re expected of you, it’s tradition, or based on a fantasy or ideal of the perfect holiday dinner or season? Do you feel wiped out after it’s all said and done?

Make a decision to focus on the true meaning of the season then choose to celebrate in ways that are appropriate for you and your family. Maybe it’s not the big dinner that you normally cook—maybe it’s a potluck instead, or as a friend does, orders up dinner for the family. Or this year, do something different and volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Being of service can lift your spirit and shift your focus on the needs of others in a healthy and productive way.

2. Set Your Boundaries and Respect Them
Yes, learning to say “no” is still on the list of resolutions this year. For the holidays, this could mean, saying no to unexpected requests to cook, to opening your home to house guests, or credit card debt. You can also say no to the materialism or the perfectionism of the season and say “yes” to staying true to yourself and your values.

3. Plan Ahead
This is one of the simplest principles but one of the hardest for many of us to stick with. Waiting until the last minute is almost a ritual for some of us. But it’s also a major source of stress during the holidays. Start now to plan a buget, creat a menu plan, a shopping schedule (for food, gifts, decorations, etc.). You will also want to delegate some responsibilities–now is the time to ask for help. Let your partner, children and other family members know what you will need for them and give them time to prepare or adjust their schedules so they can pitch in when needed.

4. Be Realistic

If there ever was time to let go of perfectionism – this is it. Be flexible and trust that no matter how much you plan, unexpected things can happen and that you can’t control everything, or people for that matter. If you’ll be with family, try to keep things light and enjoyable. Know that now is not the time to dredge up old wounds or to count on your efforts or gifts to “make things right” with Big Mama. The chances of longstanding family conflicts being resolved over Christmas dinner are slim. Your efforts can be great first steps but don’t add additional stress by setting unrealistic expectations. Give yourself permission to enjoy the season peacefully and joyfully.

5. Make time for yourself.
With everything that’s going on during the holidays, it’s hard to think of making time for yourself. But that time alone to take a walk, journal or get a massage can make an often stressful period more enjoyable. You will have to conserve your energy and make time for others, so making sure you are eating right, exercising and managing stress will go a long way in keeping you sane during the holidays. Quiet moments alone to reflect on the blessing in your life will make the season all the better and richer.

Have Your Say

What do you do to simplify the holidays? Are you doing anything differently this year? Share your thoughts in the reader comment section below.